Change Your Words, Change Your World: The Truth About Confidence and the Language You Use

I’ve loved language for as long as I can remember. Maybe it started back in high school when I was writing what felt like a paper every single weekend from 7th through 12th grade.

This was before ChatGPT and WordHippo—if we wanted better words, we had to pull out a massive thesaurus and dig. And let me tell you, my drafts bled red ink. My teachers pushed me hard.

Every sentence was a chance to refine, rethink, and revise. They challenged me to understand that different words communicate different things, and that language carries weight.

At the time, it felt tedious. But those rough drafts taught me something priceless: words stir feelings. They shape thoughts. They build entire worlds.

Later, during my years in marketing, I saw this in action on a whole new level. The words we chose weren’t just fluff—they were strategic tools. We'd sit around and debate phrasing for hours, because we knew language influenced behavior. The right story, told the right way, could shift someone's decision, inspire action, or completely change how they saw a brand—or themselves.

But it wasn’t until I started coaching that I understood this truth in a deeper, more personal way: the language you use doesn’t just impact others. It shapes you and your reality. Your words are the house you live in.

You Don’t Have a Confidence Problem. You Have a Language Problem

You want to feel more confident? Start by paying attention to the sh*t you say to yourself when no one else is listening.

Confidence doesn’t come from knowing all the answers or being the loudest voice in the room. It comes from the quiet, consistent whispers you repeat in your mind—the ones that either reinforce your self-trust or rip it to shreds.

Let’s talk about the words you use, because they’re more than just noise. They’re the bricks that build the house you live in.

The Words You Speak Are the House You Live In

One of the first things I notice when I coach leaders and high-achievers? The way they speak to themselves. Most don’t even realize they’re doing it.

They say things like:

• "I should know this already."

• "I can’t mess this up."

• "I’m probably not ready yet."

Sound familiar?

These aren’t just throwaway thoughts. They’re narratives you’ve internalized—and they’re quietly eroding your confidence.

But here’s the kicker: once you start noticing your language, you can change it.

Try this instead:

• "I’m learning."

• "I’m figuring it out."

• "I’ve done hard things before—I’ve got this."

It’s not about fake positivity. It’s about intentional, powerful reframing that builds something solid inside you.

Your inner dialogue is a mirror. Speak to yourself like you would a mentee you believe in—firm, kind, and rooted in truth.

Because let’s face it: you’re not going to lead powerfully if your inner soundtrack is just criticism on loop.

Language Has Roots—And Most of Them Run Deep

Sometimes the words you use aren’t even yours. They’re echoes from childhood. From teachers, parents, society, and systems that told you how to think about yourself. If you were constantly corrected, criticized, or told to be "good," that noise becomes your baseline.

My dad was one of the most cheerful people I knew, but I remember how often he’d talk to himself when he made a mistake—usually something like, “Taylor, you dummkopf!” It was usually when he was building or fixing something, and while it came off as self-deprecating humor, I’ve come to understand there was more beneath the surface. He wasn’t saying it out of anger or negativity—it was just what he always did.

Looking back, I realize those words weren’t random. They were echoes from his own childhood—a mom who constantly berated and blamed him, making him believe everything that went wrong was somehow his fault. That kind of language embeds itself deep. And while he likely never thought twice about it as an adult, I can see now how it shaped how he thought about himself.

I wish I could talk to him about it now. I’d love to know how much of that script he knew he was repeating. Because that’s what we do—we absorb the language around us, and if we’re not conscious, we carry it forward.

Same goes for you.

You didn’t create the language that keeps you small. But you can choose to change it. You can become the author of your own internal dialogue.

Through this process, you can build a new, stronger house with a foundation rooted in inner confidence.

Rewriting the Script: Micro-Moments That Matter

You don’t have to chant affirmations in the mirror (unless that’s your thing).

You just have to start noticing the moments. The in-between seconds where you choose your internal narrative.

• When you mess up, do you say, "I’m such an idiot" or "I’m learning how to do this better"?

• When you hesitate, do you say, "I never get this right" or "I’m getting more comfortable every time I try"?

These are micro-shifts. They matter.

Over time, the stories you tell yourself shape how you show up—not just in your head but in your body.

The Body Doesn’t Lie: Why Somatic Work Matters

Here’s something most mindset coaching misses: confidence isn’t just cognitive. It’s embodied.

Somatic work is the practice of connecting with your body’s sensations, emotions, and movements. It helps bridge the gap between what you know and what you feel.

You might know you’re capable, but if your body is locked in tension every time you speak up, that disconnect blocks your confidence.

Through breathwork, grounding, posture shifts, and nervous system regulation techniques, you teach your body to feel safe being seen, heard, and in charge.

You can literally rewire your nervous system to support your confidence, not sabotage it.

Try this:

• Stand tall.

• Plant your feet.

• Breathe deeply into your belly.

• Repeat a phrase like, "I am grounded, I am safe, I am ready."

Your body believes what you consistently practice. Begin reshaping your thought patterns, and your body will follow.

If you want to explore how this kind of inner and embodied work could support your growth, I offer a free initial consultation. Let's talk about what's holding you back—and how to shift it for good. Click to book your free session now and get started building true confidence.

Confidence Isn’t a Trait—It’s a Byproduct

Confidence isn’t something you either have or you don’t. It’s what happens when your inner and outer language align. It’s the result of practicing courage, building awareness, and choosing new words even when the old ones feel easier.

Want to build real confidence?

• Stop waiting to feel confident.

• Start choosing confident language.

• Layer in somatic practices that help you feel your words in your body.

This work isn’t fluffy. It’s foundational.

Because how the hell can you lead powerfully if the voice in your head is constantly tearing you down?

Start Here: Notice, Shift, Embody, Repeat

If you want to change your world, you have to change your words. And then anchor those words in your body.

Step one: Notice. Start observing the way you talk to yourself—in the quiet, in the chaos, and in the moments that stretch you.

Step two: Shift. Choose a slightly more powerful, honest, kind version of the thought. You don’t have to swing to sunshine and rainbows. Just one notch higher.

Step three: Embody. Take a breath. Feel the shift in your posture, your energy, your tone.

Step four: Repeat. Do it again. And again. Until the new language feels like your default.

This is the work of building unshakable, grounded confidence.

And if you’re ready to take it deeper?

Download The Confident Leader Playbook

This free guide will walk you through 5 proven strategies to:

• Shift your mindset

• Rewire your language

• Build true confidence from the inside out

Because confidence isn’t found. It’s built.

Ready to speak to yourself like the powerful leader you are?

🔗 Download The Confident Leader Playbook