Confidence is a result of doing things all those times you DIDN’T feel confident

Most of my clients want to feel more confident in some part of their life- some are super confident professionally but struggle as a parent, some would love to feel more confident professionally and many want to simply feel more comfortable in their own skin no matter the situation.  If confidence was something we could buy on Amazon and have shipped to our front door- guaranteed it would be a top seller. 

Here’s the deal though, confidence is a result.  It’s a result of numerous small inputs that over time build your confidence.  Confidence is built when you’re not confident.  It’s a result of doing things all the time you don’t feel confident. 

I love James Clear’s book Atomic Habits.  One of his tenets is that small things over time can have a big impact.  The same is true with confidence.  It kind of happens when you’re not looking and all of the sudden BAM!  You feel more confident.  It’s those little moments when you didn’t feel confident, but pushed yourself anyway, when you didn’t want to but did.  When you didn’t think you could but did.  Taking messy action and not worrying about perfection.  All of a sudden these seeds of confidence take root deep within and you start to believe you can, you stop questioning your ability and trust that you can figure it out, and you get out of your head and start doing more. 

The discomfort you feel tells you you’re on the right path because confidence is built on the other side of discomfort.  All of your inputs- courage, action, consistency, commitment, stepping into the uncomfortable, add up to feeling more confident.  Embrace the journey and let the seeds grow; the confidence you seek was within you all along just waiting to be uncovered.