Don't should on me

I love language. I never thought I would hear those words fall from my lips and I’m sure my high school English teachers would rejoice. Words matter. They have a greater impact on our lives than most people appreciate. Small changes in words can have a big impact on your life.

One of my favorite sayings is “don’t should on me”. We all have those “shoulders” in our life, the people who are constantly telling you what you should do. The person that often “shoulds” us the most is you. Yep, we’re our own worst “shoulders”. Should feels heavy, full of obligation and has negative energy.

What if you replace “should” with “choose”? A simple change in words that has a dramatic impact. Choose is empowering, Choose gives you agency and has positive pull energy to it. I should work out v. I choose to workout. I should seek feedback v. I choose to seek feedback. Even writing the words has a different feel.

I often challenge clients to do an experiment for a few days and whenever they hear should in their inner voice, replace it with choose and see what happens. The results have been pretty amazing. Try your own experiment and see if it makes a difference. Let me know how it goes.